Burning issues
Locked the door, lit two of these, sat on the can for like 45 minutes just vibing. Came out and my roommate goes “did you make brownies.” I go “no, I was shitting.” She goes “it doesn’t smell like that.”
My eyes are watering. Is this normal or did I commit a small crime.
Please don’t describe it that way. Also please don’t do it that way.
We’re so glad you wrote, and we’re glad your roommate is paying attention. A closed bathroom is one of the smaller rooms we know, and two glasses is more candle than the room can use.
Watering eyes usually means the room ran out of fresh air before the scent ran out of enthusiasm. You’re not in trouble. The candle isn’t either. If you’re willing to share the rough size of the bathroom, Martin would like it for the log. He is sincere about this.
It’s a Sunset bathroom, so a closet. Maybe 5 by 7. Ceiling is low. The fan doesn’t work. I said shitting and you didn’t even flinch. Respect.
Thank you. At 5 by 7, with an 8-foot ceiling, that is 280 cubic feet. We suggest one glass per 400 cubic feet, with the door ajar an inch and a half, which is as far as our own bathroom latch opens. We measured it with a ruler and then with a matchbook, because the ruler was in the pour room.
“Hotbox” is a useful field word for a closed room with no air exchange. We’ve added it to the internal notes, in quotes, with your username beside it. Two glasses in 280 cubic feet is about three times the room. That lines up with the eyes.
Doug, we can, and we do. Hotbox has the dimensions now, and a door. We’re very fond of both of you.
Your roommate is describing the cold throw correctly. Brown butter reads as “someone baked” for about twenty minutes after you leave a small room.
If you would like the evening to stay simple, buy a brownie on the way home. The one on Polk is $4.75 and was still warm at 11:42 the morning we used it as a reference. This is not official policy. It is what I would do.
Bought the brownie. She said thanks. She still thinks I can bake. This is a prison of my own making.
A fan that doesn’t work is a building matter, and we don’t want to overstep. If your landlord would like a one-page note on air exchange and fragrance load, I have one. It has a table. Landlords have had mixed feelings about the table.
He will not read a table. He reads the rent. Thanks though. This is the nicest anyone’s been to me about sitting in a bathroom.
Sitting in a bathroom is a respected San Francisco tradition. We’re happy the candle could be part of yours, ideally with the door cracked an inch and a half.
If it helps, I can tuck in a card that says the brownies were a candle. I’ve written a few hundred versions of that sentence this month. One more won’t hurt. It might hurt my handwriting.
Door cracked. One candle. Roommate asked if I was baking again. I said I was conducting air exchange. She left the room, which I am counting as ventilation.
5 stars for the candle. The fan is still broken. That review is for the building.
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