Burning issues
In March 2019 I wrote “Too relaxing. Missed my stop.” on an index card at your counter. You have pinned it above the register. A friend sent me a photograph of it last week. Then three more friends did.
I did not consent to being famous.
Phil!! We have been hoping you’d come forward for seven years.
We’re so sorry. We will take it down today if you want us to, no questions. We pinned it because it is the most honest card we have ever received, and we’re proud of it. But it is your card.
Please don’t take it down. It’s the best thing in the shop. No offense to the candles.
I visited the shop specifically to see the card. This is my second post.
Some numbers, for Phil’s consideration. Your card has been photographed by visitors an estimated 2,400 times. It is our most viewed review by a factor of about forty. The next most photographed card is Gerald’s, which is a table.
Statistically, Phil, you are our most influential customer.
For the record I still miss my stop sometimes. I moved the candle to the bedroom.
That is the right room for it. You were also right about it. It was Vallejo Fog, which I designed to be exactly that relaxing, and it never occurred to me that anyone would burn it before a commute.
We have since added a line to the care card: “Not recommended before operating a vehicle or a bus pass.” That line is for you.
I made a frame. It’s walnut. It’s slightly too nice.
It’s perfect. Five stars.
Wait. Then you lose your one star.
Please don’t. We have 1,104 five-star cards and exactly one of you. The breakdown on our reviews page would lose its only one-star bar, and Teodora would have to explain the empty row to people.
Here is where we have landed: the card stays one star. The frame stays walnut. You get a Vallejo Fog on the house. Please don’t light it on the bus.
Picked it up yesterday. Saw the frame. Took the 45 home. Did not light it.
Still missed my stop.
Posting accounts are issued in person at the counter at 628 Vallejo Street, Tuesday through Saturday, 11 to 6, on a laminated card with your username written in pencil. Bring a username in mind, or Teodora will suggest one. She is right about eighty percent of the time.